It hurts to be dumped.
No matter if the message is delivered via e-mail, text, tweet, or post-it, and no matter how right the dumper was to make his or her decision, the news brings with it feelings of inadequacy and resentment. The dumpee is left to consider why the time, effort, and energy put into the relationship were not enough to make it work.
Here is the million dollar question - would you go back?
I ask because I find myself in this predicament. I was recently dumped - by an organization.
Sure, it was an organization and not a man that dumped me, but everything seems very much the same. I was told in an uncomfortable conversation that it was not my performance, my professionalism, or my effort that led to the separation. No, the decision to cut my position was simply a business matter. In other words, it was them and not me.
Ouch.
I now find myself in my twenties, well-educated, professional, and, oh yah, laid off.
For those of you who have experienced a lay off or have a friend who has been affected by organizational cuts, have these changes made you think differently about the organizations and/or the industries in which these former positions reside?
My current job search has forced me to consider what I really want to do and who I really want to do it for. In my best case scenario, I hope to find a challenging and enjoyable position within the field in which I was most recently employed. However, I have moments when I think that being dumped once may be enough for me and it may be time to locate those other fish I have heard are swimming around the sea.
I wonder what you think - has the way you were treated, or have seen others treated, affected the direction of your career? In spite of my understanding that critical business decisions need to be made, and that these decisions are rarely personal, it is impossible to remove human emotions from the equation. As I look for my next opportunity, I am forced to ask myself if I would have the humility to return to the person (job / industry) who dumped me.
Maybe this feeling will pass. It was, after all, them and not me. Right?
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I'm not really seeing the analogy. Going back to work for the same company that let you go would be like returning to the person who dumped you. Working in the same type of job/industry is more like dating someone else; it's still a guy, but a different one.
ReplyDeleteI would agree - sort of.
ReplyDeleteOrganizations are all different but what separates two, let's say, consulting firms, is smaller than what separates a consulting firm from an academic position.
I guess what I am trying to say is that if you always date the "bad boy" (or the nice guy or the smart guy) and things have not worked out in the past, is it time to move on to a completely different type of person?
That said, your point is well taken. I appreciate the response.