Forget Monster, Hit the Bar

I am looking for a new job. Is anyone else?

Whether you have been laid off, are beginning to look, want to test the waters, or would rather be doing anything else than your current work, an obvious place to start a job search is on Monster.

I have taken this step. Not only is my resume posted on the site, but I also wake up each morning, open my e-mail, and, over a cup of coffee, review the job matches Monster has compiled just for me. (For those keeping score, the number of jobs Monster has sent me: well over 5,000, the number of positions that were actually a good match: five, the amount of success I have had: zero, the feeling I get on some mornings, after reviewing frustrating and nonsensical matches, that I want to throw my computer out my apartment window: priceless.)

While no promising leads have transpired, I continue to log onto the site daily. On days during which I feel as if I am making little-to-no progress, however, my frustration can reach Homeland Security orange level.

After one such day I decided to set aside my job concerns and meet some friends for a drink. And then it happened - over two glasses of sauvignon blanc I made more meaningful job connections than I had in over 5,000 Monster postings. I felt a bit like I had cheated on Monster.

Why was I so successful? Over the bustling of the crowded bar, I was able to explain why I am passionate about human motivation and performance. I was able to share my enthusiasm and describe my previous work experiences. And, I was able to enjoy a good glass of wine. Unless my memory is failing me, I do not believe Monster has ever ponied up to the bar and offered to buy the next round.

As Gen Y’ers, we have many experiences to share, many interests to describe, and many passions to reveal. These experiences, interests, and passions often do not translate well on paper.

A list of presentations and publications does not describe the feeling of accomplishment I experienced after presenting at my first major conference, or the immense pride I had when a tennis player I coached overcame her self-doubt and self-imposed limits to be successful, or the look of appreciation on the faces of those friends and colleagues I have come across who have read my blog and feel a sense of connection to my ideas.

The world has become a tangled web of tweets and status updates. While these tools are useful, I still believe there is no substitute for going out, looking someone in the eye, and telling them what you love to do.

As for my job search, like a dutiful partner I went back to Monster the next morning and I continue to review my job matches daily. That said, I am pretty sure I will cheat again next week. Anyone up for a drink?

Now, I Only Sort-Of Dislike Dentists

Until yesterday, I strongly disliked dentists - a real lot.

The smell of the office, the picking and prodding that accompanies every visit, finding the most appropriate sort-of truthful answer to the question, "do you floss every day?" - I did not like dentists.

Then I showed up for my annual cleaning and met a hygienist who loves her work. She changed my mind about dentists. Now, I only sort-of dislike them. A real lot.

My new hygienist was gentle with my gums and my nerves, she answered my questions completely and thoughtfully, and her interest in dentistry was obvious.

While she jammed a variety of sharp objects into my mouth, she happily threw out tooth trivia (Who was the first person to use teeth as a means of identifying a person? The answer is at the bottom of the blog. I do not want to ruin it for those of you who take trivia at seriously as I do). She brought over a mirror to point out the gum tissue that needs to stay healthy for my smile to remain intact. She even positively reinforced my brushing behavior by saying that I had done a fairly good job and should keep up the good work. (I was secretly hoping for a sticker or a gold star, but apparently being twenty-something precludes you from rewards that are shiny and/or colorful. Why is that?)

Throughout the cleaning, my hygienist displayed all of her meticulously cared for teeth. Her smile had nothing to do with a dental exam, though. Her smile was wide because people smile when they love what they are doing.

“Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm.” Samuel Taylor Coleridge said this and was referring to something slightly different than the flair in the movie Office Space. Coleridge was referring to real heartfelt enthusiasm – the kind that no amount of flair can adequately represent.

One trip to the dentist with one enthusiastic hygienist made me think differently about an entire group of dental workers. I can now say that I only sort-of dislike dentists - a real lot.

Imagine the positive impact that could result from each of us finding the thing we were meant to do and bringing the same type of enthusiasm to that job everyday.

Now that I only sort-of dislike dentists, does anyone know a parking meter attendant who really loves his work?

(The reason you bothered to read this far. The answer: Paul Revere. At least according to my hygieniest.)

Breaking-Up Is Hard to Do

It hurts to be dumped.

No matter if the message is delivered via e-mail, text, tweet, or post-it, and no matter how right the dumper was to make his or her decision, the news brings with it feelings of inadequacy and resentment. The dumpee is left to consider why the time, effort, and energy put into the relationship were not enough to make it work.

Here is the million dollar question - would you go back?

I ask because I find myself in this predicament. I was recently dumped - by an organization.

Sure, it was an organization and not a man that dumped me, but everything seems very much the same. I was told in an uncomfortable conversation that it was not my performance, my professionalism, or my effort that led to the separation. No, the decision to cut my position was simply a business matter. In other words, it was them and not me.

Ouch.

I now find myself in my twenties, well-educated, professional, and, oh yah, laid off.

For those of you who have experienced a lay off or have a friend who has been affected by organizational cuts, have these changes made you think differently about the organizations and/or the industries in which these former positions reside?

My current job search has forced me to consider what I really want to do and who I really want to do it for. In my best case scenario, I hope to find a challenging and enjoyable position within the field in which I was most recently employed. However, I have moments when I think that being dumped once may be enough for me and it may be time to locate those other fish I have heard are swimming around the sea.

I wonder what you think - has the way you were treated, or have seen others treated, affected the direction of your career? In spite of my understanding that critical business decisions need to be made, and that these decisions are rarely personal, it is impossible to remove human emotions from the equation. As I look for my next opportunity, I am forced to ask myself if I would have the humility to return to the person (job / industry) who dumped me.

Maybe this feeling will pass. It was, after all, them and not me. Right?